Monday, September 7, 2015

I am laboring ...

... to stay awake on this Labor Day (US) in order to write this post. Last night I had a hard time falling asleep and then I woke up at 4 a.m. and finally got up around 5:30 and came downstairs and drank a glass of water and ate a peanut butter cracker. I fell back asleep around 6 a.m. and woke up again at 8:30. So I'm running on fumes here. But I did want to share the picture of the Spicebush Swallowtail caterpillar that's hanging out by our front door. Those eyes that make it look like an amphibious goldfish are fake. It took me a long time to figure that out. Here's another picture, just for fun:

Really, the first time I saw it, I sort of freaked out. It was like having a cartoon living on my house.

Anyhoo. Tonight at dinner the Man and I talked about jobs we had when we were young. The Man started work at an ice cream shop when he was 14, and then moved on to working at the Harris Teeter grocery store when he was 16. He worked at Harris Teeter, a North Carolina chain, all through high school and college, and then he got into publishing and then newspaper work.

Me, I did a lot of babysitting. I was not a great babysitter. I was interested in watching TV and eating snacks. I don't think I was ever mean to the kids I babysat for, but I certainly encouraged early bedtimes.

I had summer jobs during college--camp counselor, Dairy Queen worker, summer school tutor. I'm glad I worked at the DQ--it made me see the value of a college education like nothing ever had before. I went back to school a new woman.

My least favorite job over the years: telemarketer. I did that for a few months before admitting it made me miserable and got a job pouring coffee at a nearby diner. Favorite job? Writer, of course. Anne Lamott once said that she was a writer because she was completely unsuited for anything else, and that's how I feel. I know there are lots of people who would dread working by themselves day-in and day-out, but I love it. When I need human contact, I go to a local cafe and write and eavesdrop.

Well, I need to go make lunches for tomorrow and fold the laundry, and then I get to go to bed. But before I go, there was one more thing I wanted to tell you. Yesterday, I went by myself to the N.C. Museum of Art in Raleigh. Don't tell, but I skipped church. Or I attended church at a different venue, one with lots of paintings. I was looking at the museum's very fine collection of abstract expressionist paintings when  boy Will's age complained to his mother, "I don't even get why they call that art."

His mom's response was very politic. "What is art to one person might not be art to another." Which is an okay answer, I guess, and it shut down the complaining, which was probably her goal. But I started thinking about what I would say if Will were there and making that some sort of complaint (which believe me he would have). I think I would have asked him questions. "Why do you think some people enjoy looking at a painting like that?" and "Why is looking at that painting more interesting than looking at a blank wall?"

I liked this deKooning painting very much. I used to want to understand better why I liked things, and sometimes I still do, but the older I get, the easier I find it to live in the unknowing. I'm enamored of Keats' idea of negative capability, which can be defined as "the ability to contemplate the world without the desire to try and reconcile contradictory aspects or fit it into closed and rational systems." Or as Keats himself put it, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason—
that is when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason - See more at: http://www.bl.uk/romantics-and-victorians/articles/john-keats-and-negative-capability#sthash.f0pnTZQg.dpuf
that is when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason - See more at: http://www.bl.uk/romantics-and-victorians/articles/john-keats-and-negative-capability#sthash.f0pnTZQg.dpuf
that is when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason - See more at: http://www.bl.uk/romantics-and-victorians/articles/john-keats-and-negative-capability#sthash.f0pnTZQg.dpuf
that is when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason - See more at: http://www.bl.uk/romantics-and-victorians/articles/john-keats-and-negative-capability#sthash.f0pnTZQg.dpuf

I think the reason I went to the art museum yesterday is that my old poet friend Steve posted a list on Facebook called "Some Rules for Teachers," taken from minimalist composer John Cage. My favorite, number four, Do not let the terms with which you understand the world get in the way of understanding it, reminded me that sometimes you need to shake yourself up a bit, take a step away from your usual way of looking at things. So I went to view some art and came home ready to see things anew.

6 comments:

Jo said...

I love to treasure the questions. They lead so much further than the answers..

Pom Pom said...

I had lots of jobs, too! I picked strawberries for quite a few summers, I worked at Big Scoop Sundae Palace and a helicopter crop dusting company. My favorite job of all times is homemaker even though I'd probably score low on an evaluation!

My friend and I are going on an art date this morning. It's my job to come up with the activity and at first I thought we'd go to the state park and draw in our nature journals. Now I'm leaning toward going to three gorgeous flower shops.
We'll see. I like it that you went to church at an art museum.
I'm VERY glad that your chosen occupation is writer, Frances.

Nancy McCarroll said...

Pooh, a nice day to visit the art.

At first glance, your creepy bug looked like a squash, hence I thought the second picture was the squash that had grown overnight under a piece of wood. Then I read your message and saw the eyes. New art!

Gumbo Lily said...

I love that caterpillar!

I also think art museums are wonderful. I've been to very few because we don't live near cultural places like that. I think that's why I study the art in nature.

gretchenjoanna said...

I also thought it was a squash that looked like a fish....
Or, yes, a cartoon of a squash fish! Thank you for sharing that odd creature.

"When I need human contact, I go to a local cafe and write and eavesdrop." I must remember this thought which makes me very happy, thinking I might do it too sometime. I am getting a laptop soon.

Look! You are writing a blog post and it isn't even Friday. You are a writer.

Tracy said...

I had one job as a teen: medical receptionist for my doctor, on a Saturday morning. It stood me in good stead to get my first job in administration quite quickly. As it turned out this was not a job I was excited to get out of bed for. One of my students asked me today if being a teacher was hard. I answered "yes, but it is the best job. I get out of bed excited to come to work every day in a way I never did when I was a secretary".

I loved your comment about eavesdropping in cafes. I love people-watching and listening. Fascinating stuff - more so if you're an author I imagine.

My favourite art: Quilt and Craft Fair. Haven't been to one since I began studying. Maybe next year!