Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Where Have I Been? I Don't Even Know.

I've been meaning to post for a week now. I have so much to say, so much to ponder. So why haven't I posted?

I have no idea.

Oh, it's been busy, busy over here on Spencer Street. And have we been cranky, cranky? Oh, yes, oh, my, we have. Will in particular has been rode hard and put up wet by his time spent at Our Fine School. I'm sure at school he is his charming, funny self, but at home he is the worst child known to humankind. Ever. Yep, worse than your worst child on your worst child's worst day. Count on it.

Jack is off to Camp Cheerio with the rest of the sixth grade until Friday. Yet another opportunity to miss him. Oh, the sweet sorrow of that. When he's here, I don't miss at him at all. I just want to miss him. I want to miss him a lot. For days and days and days.

Jack is actually not so devastated by his seven hours outside of the home as Will is, but he has no patience whatsoever for his spawn of the devil little brother. And right now? I need Jack to have a teeny tiny bit of patience. I need him to take one for the team. I need him to be a boy not so clearly on the edge of adolescence, not quite so ready with the whip-smart sarcastic remark. And last night at dinner, when he asked poor, little Will if he knew that the word gullible wasn't in the dictionary, I wanted to disown him on the spot.

I mean, I just don't want to go there.

Not that Will has any idea of what the word gullible means.

I don't know if you watched the Emmy's on Sunday, but I was given the award for Best Performance by a Completely Exhausted Woman Trying to Act Like a Nice and Caring Mommy. I'm doing my best, girls. I'm making French toast for breakfast and offering healthy snacks in the afternoon. I'm smiling until my mouth hurts. No children have been physically harmed or--and I'm especially proud of this--emotionally abused during the making of this movie.

But how long can it last? How long can I last? Have I mentioned lately that I'm abstaining from both sugar and wine?


Okay, I need to go. I spent all day peeling wallpaper from the living room and dining room walls, and I'm even more pooped than normal. But you know what? I like peeling wallpaper. It's very quiet and lovely, wallpaper is, and it doesn't throw foam footballs at you and start rolling around the floor like it's the funniest thing in the world that you find being hit repeatedly by a foam football annoying. Wallpaper never throws anything at you, or makes cutting remarks about second graders, or complains about the contents of its lunchbox. It just sits there, very, very quietly while you work.

And that is why I love wallpaper best of all.


Amanda said...

Oh, how I love to read your apt descriptions of life with boys. I have three, and the 13-yr old and 12-yr old make it miserable for me trying to parent the 8-yr old. They can't seem to hold their tongues. And the antics they kick up in the kitchen are indescribable. Why does it have to be in the kitchen? Thank you for speaking for so many of us!

Pom Pom said...

Oh, please come to my house and we'll have a peel party. I'd appreciate your support.
It's interesting to listen to the kids at school try to keep afloat. Middle school is so scrutinizing, so lacking in courage.
Keep smiling, Mama.

wayside wanderer said...

I caught my kids off guard the other day when I told them that I loved hearing them bicker and could they do it a little longer. :) My new tactic left them speechless. Whooot! It was probably a one shot wonder....but I do have to say these two especially have been getting along much better the past 6 months or so.

magsmcc said...

I hope you don't expect us to find any of this an excuse!! Oh but I do sympathise with cranky. I'm more than cranky myself now after the third day of back to school exhaustion and they're tired too! We're living for the weekend!

the crew said...

No sugar OR wine?? Please, show yourself some love and have a nice glass of red. If you partake around 4:30ish, you won't be drinking alone. . .

the crew said...

No sugar OR wine?? Please, show yourself some love and have a nice glass of red. If you partake around 4:30ish, you won't be drinking alone. . .

Left-Handed Housewife said...

Hi, Amanda--Oh, my goodness, two older boys against one younger one! I don't know how you're surviving, but hang in there, sister!

Pom Pom, I would love to come your house and peel wallpaper. I'm a pro. And middle school is so tough. I just want to get Jack through and out!

Wayside, I like that idea! I find anything I can do to get my boys laughing helps. Not for long, but at least for a minute or two.

Mags, I'm with you, babe. The weekend cannot come soon enough ... except I'm going to spend the whole of it covered in paint. Well, better that than crabby children!

Sarah, As you've witnessed, sometimes I abstain from the abstaining! And yes, the 4:30 glass of wine is more than tempting, but all that temptation has gone to my thighs, I fear ... Maybe if I ran marathons like some people I know!

GretchenJoanna said...

I wish you had a daughter...but who am I to know what you need. God has given you girlfriends, and wallpaper!

Susan said...

The mantra I used during childbirth was "The only out is through." I think it's apt for those of us whose children are on the cusp of adolescence.

I think this mantra was suggested to me by a wise North Carolinian whose name rhymes with chenille. You might know her. I'm sure she'd share a glass of wine and a bar of imported chocolate with you. She's nice that way.

Tracy said...

Ah, I feel your cranky pain! We're doing the homework battle on one end and the "I hate school" at the other. She has good reason for not enjoying school, but still.

I had to giggle at Gretchen wishing you had a daughter ~ I dunno, I have some/one of each and fast and loud beats manipulative and moody hands down. And my girls are pretty good.

Angela said...

No - I remember when my daughters were the ages of your sons. It is different - but no easier.

Here in the UK we don't call it 'peeling' wallpaper, we call it 'stripping'. But to say you love strippingmakes you sound like an ecdysiast [wonderful word!]

Go and eat a sugar laden cookie.

Gumbo Lily said...

Oh Frances, I love reading you. I want to come over and give you a big hug and help with the wallpaper. Throw the foam football back -- and hard!


Ali said...

Ha! I really love missing my children too!!