Kindergarten Graduation, Etc.

One graduation down, three more to go, if you don't count college. Right now, I'd prefer not to count college, if it's all the same to you.

The great thing about graduations, recitals, and other assemblies at Our Fine School is that they run like clockwork. I believe the kindergartners have been practicing for this graduation since last August, approximately five minutes after they started the school year.

The bad thing for shy persons such as myself is the twenty to thirty minutes before the assembly. Inevitably, for some reason or another, the Man and I usually come separately, and I always get there first, so I'm sitting by myself and there's nobody for miles that I know (my friends at Our Fine School are the sort of folks who show up late, including the Man), and everyone around me is socializing like mad. It's like there's a club everyone else was invited to join except me. Admittedly, the club is probably called The Club for People Who Actually Make the Effort to Make Small Talk at School Gatherings and Are in General Friendly and Cheerful, Unlike that Woman Over There with Her Nose in a Book, and I'd hate it and quit after the first meeting. Still, it's sort of insulting not to be asked.

I have a victory to report. For graduation, all the children were given a white tee shirt that says "Our Fine School, Class of 2021," which they were to wear with white shorts. Mrs. B, Will's teacher, started warning us early in the year that it's harder than you think to find white shorts, especially for boys. I was dismissive of this, figuring that you can find anything online, but let me tell you, it took a couple hours of searching. You can find lots of white tennis shorts, and satiny white basketball shorts, but plain old white shorts that aren't part of a ring bearer's suit? Few and far between, my friends, few and far between.

But I found a pair. Cost me $26. Yikes! But still, I wanted to have one costume success story this year, and ladies, what a success story it was.

Most of the kids wore short white tennis shorts of thin cotton that revealed to the world the stark truth that most kindergartners have extraordinarily scrawny legs. Several of the boys wore long, shiny basketball shorts. Many of the girls' mothers apparently gave up on the white shorts and dressed their graduates in white skirts. One mom said to hell with it all and sent her daughter to school in a lovely cotton frock with eyelet lace, frilly socks and white patent leather maryjanes (no Class of 2021 tee shirt, which would have totally ruined the look).

But Mr. Will was wearing a lovely white trouser shorts made from sturdy cotton fabric, casual yet with a certain je ne sais quois. He looked handsome, rugged, fashionable in a devil-may-care way.

And he didn't pick his nose once.

So, yes, I spent most of the graduation ceremony checking out other kids' shorts, wondering if the mother who put her daughter in white leggings was cringing just a little bit, if the dad who gave the thumbs up on the sateen shorts that hit mid-shin was rethinking his decision. What must it be like, I wondered, to send your child to school dressed all wrong? Hmmm ... I suppose it must be awfully embarrassing ...