tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post6405880473261737302..comments2023-10-04T05:58:46.892-07:00Comments on Left-Handed Housewife: Old Friends, Part 2Left-Handed Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15014518128739580267noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-50346152422206572562009-02-04T11:10:00.000-08:002009-02-04T11:10:00.000-08:00Oh man...been there too, in fact we had someone ex...Oh man...been there too, in fact we had someone exactly like Andrew come stay with us for a few days. I really wanted to help this person and I almost drove myself into therapy doing it, but quite often they will just latch on to the next person, rather than try to get themselves straightened out or be helped in any way. Don't compromise your own wellbeing, give it to God. xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-28160797433990273232009-02-02T14:51:00.000-08:002009-02-02T14:51:00.000-08:00I think you are handling the situation well. Givin...I think you are handling the situation well. Giving a little support, from time to time, but then not picking up so that you have control over how intrusive it could become. instead of feeling guilty about screening the calls, pray "Lord I hand Andrew over to you, please be with him at this time...(and whatever else seems right at the time)" Your Heavenly Father knows how to care for him.The Vintage Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10905576525653700066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-7481285701435633342009-01-31T02:17:00.000-08:002009-01-31T02:17:00.000-08:00I'm so sorry this is happening to you Frances. I t...I'm so sorry this is happening to you Frances. I too have been in this kind of position with an old school-friend, and it was really troubling.<BR/><BR/>I echo Angela's comments. You've helped and supported him and been a friend to him for a good many years, but it is wrong of him to overwhelm you so. And, obviously, because of his illness he isn't entirely sure how his actions effect other people. I shan't give any advice, but I can give you my sympathies and I can empathise.<BR/><BR/>God Bless.Dulce Domumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15835872248177497717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-16881577650446603962009-01-31T01:51:00.000-08:002009-01-31T01:51:00.000-08:00Glad the earlier comment was of help. I shall be p...Glad the earlier comment was of help. I shall be praying for you as you seek the wisdom to work out a course of action.<BR/>As I am always saying to people<BR/>"Refer continually to James 1:5"<BR/>blessings - ang xxAngelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13494078135251214182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-365742699851398922009-01-30T08:50:00.000-08:002009-01-30T08:50:00.000-08:00Susan, thanks for your thought-provoking comment (...Susan, thanks for your thought-provoking comment (by the way, is this Danielle's Susan?). I agree with much of what you say, and the good news seems to be, there are so many mentally ill folks out there, if you drop one from your social calendar, plenty seem ready to pop up and take their place.<BR/><BR/>I would be happy to give Andrew your number, however, if you are worried about his being pushed to the outskirts of society by the likes of me.Left-Handed Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15014518128739580267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-21531307837136471432009-01-30T08:39:00.000-08:002009-01-30T08:39:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Left-Handed Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15014518128739580267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-76540274666927256672009-01-30T07:34:00.000-08:002009-01-30T07:34:00.000-08:00Nothing good can come from Facebook. Benign thing...Nothing good can come from Facebook. Benign things, maybe, but nothing good. It's way too intrusive in your life and you have so very little control over it. It puts you in a position of vulnerablity. It brings all kinds of people into your life and puts things out there on cyberspace about you of which you rather maintain control.<BR/><BR/>My take on Andrew may be a little different. While I completely understand your concern, I worry about what it means as a society if we all push away the "crazies" in our lives. Mental illness is a part of who we are a society. It's scary b/c so much can be unkown. Where exactly is it that we want these people to go? What are we teaching our children if we push everyone who's a little different from us out of our life? Is it possilble that our kids could learn something about compassion and differences if we allow people like Andrew to be a part of our lives in very limited ways? Or are we better off to teach them about boundaries by cutting people like Andrew out? You don't seem to fear that he will harm you or your family, so what exactly is that that you fear? Maybe when you can name that and think about what kind of society and community you want your kids to live in, you'll know what to do. In having some clear firm boundaries with someone who's different, you may find that you have a great opportunity to teach your kids about who you are and who you want them to be.<BR/><BR/>Feel free to argue with me...I don't have all the answers. I just pretend to sometimes and it's a lot easier when my phone is not ringing with Andrew on the other end.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12196717975204396575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-69163254431627232762009-01-30T05:35:00.000-08:002009-01-30T05:35:00.000-08:00Thanks, Angela--I've been thinking a lot about wha...Thanks, Angela--I've been thinking a lot about what you wrote, especially the Good Samaritan story. It made me ponder the fact that I (and my brother) have been supportive of this man for almost thirty years now. Maybe we've done our time? Maybe we could stop now?<BR/><BR/>Nanny, I promise to let you know if I find the answer! Thanks for stopping by.Left-Handed Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15014518128739580267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-56360186107662763112009-01-29T14:22:00.000-08:002009-01-29T14:22:00.000-08:00I wish I had words of wisdom for you! You would t...I wish I had words of wisdom for you! You would think I've lived long enough to have ALL the answers in life. I have family like this and I still hide..... I'll be sure to check back for THE answer, though! Love your blog!Nannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14233545482962723565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-70815233266670190012009-01-29T12:51:00.000-08:002009-01-29T12:51:00.000-08:00This is SO hard - as a Pastor's Wife, I am aware o...This is SO hard - as a Pastor's Wife, I am aware of the folk who can latch on to you and try to suck out all your energy. Our family code for them is VDP [very draining people] I've avoided Facebook for that reason, and just stick to blogging. <BR/>Maybe it feels unkind - but sometimes you MUST be firm and set boundaries. Enlist the help of reliable friends and family to get in between and protect you.<BR/>It occurs to me that the Good Samaritan LEFT the wounded traveller at the inn, along with theresources to pay for his bed and breakfast - he did NOT stop the night and nurse him!! <BR/>You HAVE been a help to this guy - but there are limits [and other people to whom you have responsibility]Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13494078135251214182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-39450589053010068262009-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:002009-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00Tracy, your MIL is so right! Words to live by.Tracy, your MIL is so right! Words to live by.Left-Handed Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15014518128739580267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-49042436958459232442009-01-29T11:15:00.000-08:002009-01-29T11:15:00.000-08:00My MIL told me once that some people will 'take' a...My MIL told me once that some people will 'take' as much as you allow them to and that boundaries are a perfectly acceptable thing. The best thing we ever did in one case was move. Our phone listing might as well be silent...I certainly can't find it LOL, and so I've lost contact with the person I didn't want any with.<BR/><BR/>And then there are just other difficult people. I use avoidance as much as possible and then try and keep interaction as superficial as possible. I could never be accused of encouraging those people LOL.Tracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07511855282323456046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-11348943046553169942009-01-29T09:29:00.000-08:002009-01-29T09:29:00.000-08:00Heather, I've become wary of new people over the y...Heather, I've become wary of new people over the years, too. My initial impressions are sometimes wrong and I have dived in when it would have been much more prudent to stay on shore. <BR/><BR/>ATD, your name would never crop up on my list of people to avoid. Quite the opposite--you're needed on the life raft. <BR/><BR/>I'm learning some fb lessons the hard way--really, I had no idea what I was getting into.Left-Handed Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15014518128739580267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-37861834001923554222009-01-29T08:25:00.000-08:002009-01-29T08:25:00.000-08:00I worry I'm going to see my name crop up, old frie...I worry I'm going to see my name crop up, old friend. :)<BR/><BR/>We have had a similar problem with several people. I sometimes feel I had to "friend" everyone, to be nice, but it's kind of silly to friend people you really didn't have that much in common with in the first place. Also, Fb has caused a mismash of business and pleasure that's discomfiting.I've started thinking to begin to separate out my pals from my business contacts etc in to separate facebook pages. It's a useful tool, and can be fun, but if you take down your facebook page for a while, you can put it up again and it's exactly the same, as if by magic. We have also considered being pseudonymous and anagramming our names so we can't be found...Good luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626107370797678390.post-85834424074898795832009-01-29T08:14:00.000-08:002009-01-29T08:14:00.000-08:00I wish I could answer your question. I have been a...I wish I could answer your question. I have been a magnet for the hard luck cases, I guess I am kind and that is easily mistaken for sympathy. Meeting new people gives me the same moment of pause as facing a revolving door. Odds are it won't drag you in circles to your death, but stranger things have happened.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02472057643558625269noreply@blogger.com